Love Again Read online

  **Warning**

  This book is not suitable for anyone under the age of 18. It contains graphic sexual encounters, verbal and physical abuse, and rape. Some scenes may be difficult for some readers and may cause triggers.

  If you or someone you know is a victim of rape please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673(hope).

  This book can be read as a stand-alone!

  Other titles by Christina Marie

  Accidentally Falling (Book 1) currently not available

  Accidentally In Love (Book 2) currently not available

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  Pole Position (Book 1)

  Wreckers or Checkers (Book 2)

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  Outside the Box

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  Rewind (Book 1)

  Unstoppable (Book 2)

  Please note they can both be read as a stand-alone but I do suggest reading Rewind first.

  This book is a work of fiction!!

  Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are used FICTITIOUSLY. ANY resemblance to actual events locales, or person dead or living is COINCIDENTAL.

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  The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted works is a crime punishable by law. No part of the book may be scanned, uploaded to or downloaded from file sharing sites or distributed in any other way via the Internet or any other means electronic or print without permission of Christina Marie-Author.

  Criminal copyright infringement including infringement without monetary gain is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to five years in federal prison and a fine of $250 and up.

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  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the author.

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  Christina Marie-Author ~ Copyright 2015

  Cover photo courtesy of ~ George Kontaxis Photography

  (George Kontaxis Photography Facebook)

  **WARNING**

  THIS BOOK CONTAINS STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT AND ADULT LANGUAGE. IT IS INTENDED FOR MATURE READING AUDIENCES ONLY OVER THE AGE OF 18! AS I STATED IN THE FIRST WARNING THERE IS SCENES IN THE BOOK THAT COULD BE POSSIBLE TRIGGERS FOR READERS.

  “The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”

  Ferdinand Foch

  “I can’t wait until the day I get married. My dress is going to be as white as those clouds and I’ll have a sky blue ribbon tied in my hair.” My best friend Corrina said.

  We were ten years old lying in the grass next to each other staring up at the sky. “Mine will be big and soft and white. Aren’t boys gross though?” I covered my face as I tried to hide my laugh.

  Corrina giggled, “Yeah they have coodies but some day they won’t!” The warm summer breeze drifted across our faces and the sun warmed our skin. “When I get married, I want you to be there with me. Standing right beside me.” She turned her head and smiled.

  “BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE!” we said in unison and the both of us laughed.

  “What are you two silly girls doing out here?” mom asked, a warm smile on her face.

  “Nothing momma just talking about our wedding day.” I told her, Corrina and I both continued to giggle when we stood up. “Did you have a pretty white dress momma?”

  Her smile faltered slightly, “I sure did!” she hugged both of us. “Corrina your momma called and said you need to go do your chores.”

  “Yuck,” she wrinkled up her nose. “I’ll be over tomorrow!” She hugged me then took off skipping down the sidewalk to her house.

  I grabbed momma’s hand, “Is daddy home yet? We can all play Chutes and Ladders while supper bakes.” I said excitedly.

  “He won’t be home until later sweetie but I’ll play with you. Maybe he’ll be home before it’s your bedtime.” Mom swung our hands back and forth as we walked up the steps to the house.

  After supper momma and me played until it was time for me to go to bed. She kissed me “Love you Lennie.” Then left my room. When daddy got home I was already in bed almost asleep.

  Although their voices were muffled through my bedroom door I could hear momma yelling at daddy, and daddy yelling at momma. “I know you’re seeing somebody else David! I can smell her perfume on you and…and you have lipstick on your shirt collar!” Momma’s voice sounded like she was crying.

  “I invited you to the company party too Rose, you could have stopped the pushy secretary from throwing herself at me.” Daddy’s words sounded slurred.

  “THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME!” Moms voice grew louder “Do not go in Lennie’s room she’s been asleep for over an hour.”

  I ran back over to my bed and dove under the covers, faced away from the door and pretended to be asleep. My bed dipped with weight when somebody sat down. “Love you Lennie doll.” My dad whispered then kissed my cheek, the smell of his breath made my nose burn. They continued to fight throughout the night.

  I was jolted awake when a door slammed. I waited, scared, to see if somebody was in our house. It wasn’t until the next morning that I found out who had slammed the door.

  I wiped tears from my face as I stood up from where I was sitting on the bathroom floor and stared at myself in the mirror. My green eyes looked dull and my face blotchy from crying, but it was what nobody else could see that hurt the most. The words he screamed at me and the names he called me…were like needles being driven into my heart. My vision of what marriage was supposed to be like and what my marriage was like, were very different.

  I quietly opened the bathroom door, the soft light filtered through the bedroom. Justin was lying on his back with one arm resting at his side and the forearm of his other arm draped over his eyes. I stood there and stared at the only man I had ever loved, memories of us in happier times flashed through my mind.

  ~~~~~~

  Justin and I met our junior year of college, he was going to be an attorney and I was majoring in business. After graduation we moved to his hometown of Chicago.

  I had been to his parent’s home numerous times. It was painfully obvious that we came from two different worlds though. His parent’s home was in an upper class community. Their house was a large gray two story home, the lawn perfectly maintained by groundskeepers, and the inside of the home was meticulous and lavish with the most expensive décor and furnishings.

  I had grown up in a small bungalow style house that had two bedrooms and one tiny bathroom. The carpet was worn and the paint on the walls yellowed from age.

  His mom, Sue, was a petite woman with a less than friendly welcome towards me the first time I met her. Andrew, his dad, was the same way but eventually I could carry on a conversation with him. Over time his dad seemed to accept that Justin and I were in love with each other but his mom was a totally different story.

  One weekend when Andrew and Justin left to go to the law firm I was sitting in Justin’s large bed reading when his mom knocked lightly on the door.

  “Come in!” I said and closed the book I was reading. Sue opened the door; I smiled at her “Hey.” I was nervous because I had never been around her alone before. Justin had always been by my side and she tried to act as sweet as possible around him.

  “Hi Lennie I just thought I would come in and visit with you.” She didn’t smile at me and she didn’t sit down on the bed.

  “Sure, how has your day been?” I asked trying not to sound worried or intimidated by the icy look she was giving me.

  Sue waved a hand, “Just fine. Listen, I’ll just get to th
e point. I know where you come from and I know your type. I’m not going to stand back silently and let you use my son for our money. We’ve worked very hard to build the business we have and this life that we have. I’m sure you’ve asked yourself a million times, like I have, Why is Justin with you when he can have any woman that he looks at?”

  My mouth hung open, I was speechless. I snapped my jaw shut when she rolled her eyes at me.

  “Don’t act so stupid, it doesn’t look good on you. I just want you to know that I see you for the gold digger that you are.” She said and left the room before I could even process a response.

  I never told Justin what she said because I didn’t want to cause an argument to break out between them and have her place the blame on me. Before we left the following morning, Sue hugged him while giving me a disgusted look over his shoulder.

  When he proposed to me that following week while we were out on a date at the beach I knew that his mom would be livid.

  “Have you discussed it with your parents?” I asked while he was still down on one knee in front of me.

  Justin tilted his head to the side, “I wasn’t aware that I needed their permission and quite honestly I’m offended you couldn’t give me a simple yes or no.” he stood up and shut the ring box.

  I grabbed his hands and stopped him from putting the ring away, “I do want to marry you, I mean yes I’d be honored to be your wife. I have something to tell you first though.”

  He raised one eyebrow at me, “Okay?” he drew out.

  I cleared my throat, “Your mom doesn’t like me very much, I’m sure you know that.” I said. Then I told him what she had said to me.

  “Lennie, I’m asking you to marry me not my mom. Just give her time she’ll warm up to you.”

  I smiled, “Like I said, I’d be honored to be your wife.”

  A couple of weeks later when he went home, I chose not to go in case his mom and dad fought with him about our engagement.

  When he got back to my dorm nothing was ever said about what their reaction was. We talked about wedding plans and both agreed we wanted to have a small wedding to keep our stress to a minimum.

  Our wedding was one month after graduation, in his parent’s backyard with his family, my dad and Jennifer in attendance and Corrina as my maid of honor. To say that Corrina was less than pleased I married Justin, would be an understatement. She didn’t like him from day one and his feelings for her were mutual. Eventually they both agreed to disagree on almost everything and they agreed they would try to get along for me.

  After dancing at the reception for over an hour I decided to change out of my dress into the beautiful white casual dress that Corrina had bought for me. After Corrina hung my dress up and put it in the garment bag she sat down on Justin’s bed. “I really hope he’s the right one for you. His mom stared daggers at you the whole time you two were standing up there.”

  “I know she doesn’t like me, but, like Justin said. I married him not her. I love him so much Corrina. Now that schools done and he can really focus on working I think everything will be great between us.”

  She nodded her head, “If you’re happy that’s all that matters, even though I still don’t like him very much. Just be careful, something about this family just seems...odd.”

  “Thanks for being here today.” I hugged her.

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I’d better get back down there, the booze isn’t going to drink itself.”

  I used the restroom before going back when I walked out of the bathroom…Sue was waiting for me.

  “You know that I think he made the biggest mistake ever marrying your type. I begged him to make you sign a pre-nup but he argued that it wasn’t necessary. You’re not getting a dime of his money no matter what, if you think you can fuck my son over you’re dumber than you look. If you think by getting knocked up that you’ll get money from this family…you’re wrong.” She slurred with anger.

  I wanted to respond but chose not to, this woman was not going to ruin my wedding day by belittling me. Not one time had she ever taken the initiative to actually get to know me by talking to me, she only knew what she had researched at the law firm. All she was able to find out was that my parents divorced when I was young and that my mom was deceased.

  A week after my wedding Corrina moved to Europe where she took a job working for one of the biggest historical museums and would do some modeling jobs on the side as well. Every few days or at least once a week she would call me or I would call her. Skype was a wonderful thing for us. I wasn’t allowed to talk to her on the phone or computer when Justin was home though. “It’s my time to be with my wife, I had to put up were her attitude in college I’m not going to have her bad mouthing me anymore. Sure as hell not over a phone I fucking pay for or the computer I bought.”

  ~~~~~~

  Just a few months after we got married, Justin started traveling for his dad. That’s when I started to see a change in him. I chalked it up to stress from traveling and trying to please his parents.

  While he was out of town he would call me nonstop, “Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? I better not find out you were with another man.” He would say angrily.

  No matter how many times I tried to reassure him that I wouldn’t cheat on him, he didn’t believe me. Some times when he would come home from a three day long business trip he would wrap me in his arms and apologize profusely for the things he had said. Other times he would walk in and start screaming at me for the littlest things. “You couldn’t even put your breakfast plate in the dishwasher? I’m out of town working my ass off and you are here slumming, trashing our fucking home, Lennie?”

  No matter what I did, it seemed like nothing pleased him. If I didn’t know better I would think he was bipolar.

  Everybody told us the first few years of marriage would be the hardest and that marriage is hard work. I hated that they were right but what I hated even more was that everything was my fault and I didn’t have anybody to turn to when it got to be too much for me.

  ~~~~~~

  I couldn’t stay home another day, there was only so much cleaning I could stand to do and our apartment was always spotless. So I applied for numerous jobs and ended up taking a full time job at Sunrise Realty as real estate agent. Justin hated me working, but yet he would complain when I asked for money to pay the bills. He would call me at five o’clock sharp and if I didn’t answer he would send hateful text messages asking me if I was fucking a co-worker or a client. Getting him to understand that my hours wouldn’t always end at five was like talking to a tree, “If I find out you’re cheating on me Lennie, you’re going to fucking hate me.”

  At Sunrise Realty there were three agents, James, Henry and myself. Our boss Mike would check in every couple of weeks. Our secretary, Lana, was a single mom that worked on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Over time I warmed up to all of my co-workers but Justin didn’t like any of them. They would invite me out for drinks but I knew that if Justin found out, he would spend hours screaming at me about going somewhere without him. I had never given him a reason not to trust me, or a reason to treat me the way he was. I told myself numerous times, “If he ever hits you, you’re leaving no matter how much it breaks your heart to walk away.”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly walking toward the bed. My toes sank into the plush carpet as I tiptoed across the room, Justin quietly snoring from his side of the bed. I pulled the covers back and eased into the bed and curled up on my side with my back to him.

  The alarm clock displayed 3:00A.M. I had been locked in the bathroom for over two hours while he kicked and hit the door screaming at me, telling me how big of a whore I was. All because I was reading Ana and Christian’s story. I loved reading romance novels; they were my only escape from what I was dealing with in life. The bed moved as, Justin rolled over and wrapped his arm around my waist and curved his body against mine. I waited for an apology, but like usual there wasn’t one.<
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  My eyes popped open at the rapid beeping coming from my alarm clock. I reached over and shut it off before it woke my Justin up. He didn’t go to work until ten and hated if my alarm woke him up. With only three and a half hours of sleep, my day was going to drag by. I sent up a silent Thank You to the Starbucks Gods before I slid out from under Justin’s arm that was wrapped around me still.

  After showering and getting dressed, with my heels in hand, I rushed out of the apartment to the elevators. I stepped inside and put my shoes on, I couldn’t wear them in the apartment because Justin hated the “clickity-clickity” across the hardwood flooring and tiles.

  “Good morning Mrs. Ericson!” the doorman Keith said joyfully.

  I stopped, “Keith how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Lennie?” I asked him with a big smile.

  He shook his head, “Good Morning Lennie, busy day today?”

  I laughed, “Good Morning Keith, I’m sure hoping for a busy day. Right now I need some caffeine ASAP!”

  He nodded his head and laughed and hailed a taxi for me, “You have a wonderful day. Your car is back at the office, all fluids changed and new tires.”

  “Great! I’m sorry that Justin wouldn’t give the mechanic the garage code. Have a great day!”

  Keith was somebody I actually considered to be a friend. Even in front of Justin he would talk to me without fear that Justin would think he was flirting with me. Maybe because Keith was in his early sixties Justin didn’t feel he was a threat, but I was glad to have at least one person that acknowledged me each time we passed.

  Once inside the taxi I asked the driver to stop by the Starbucks a couple of blocks down. I had been a regular there ever since Justin and I had moved to Chicago. He pulled up in front, I rushed in and smiled at Marylou that was working and ordered my normal Dirty Chai Latte with two shots of espresso blended in. I handed her a ten-dollar bill and told her to keep the change, “Be careful in those heels Lennie—have a great day!” she called out with a laugh as I rushed away.